Misadventures
by Rabbitzan
Summary: Series of One-Shot's I will continue this haha! It will have my favorite characters maybe but if you have any you want to see in a funny situation let me know. please R&R Bleach, Naruto, AU
1. The Patient is Not Patient!

_Disclaimer- the only Character in this fic that is truly mine is Miana. The rest belong to their respective owners._

Series of one-shot this is only the first page so it may not seem like a crossover at first but we'll see what I can do… Muahahahahahaha!!!! XD

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**#1**

**The Patient is Not Patient**

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The patient sneezed as Miana entered. His face was covered by a mask and only one eye peered out at her. It was kind of creepy the way he stared at her. It made her squirm, slightly. She cursed having to change professions and wished she could go back to being a psychiatrist, but no, she just had to volunteer to help the hospital in it's time of need. They were short of staff and needed someone of her caliber to help keep things running smoothly. This male was her first patient. She looked him over then looked down at the sheet Hanatarou had handed her and scratched her head. "Um… Mr. Hatake?"

"Kakashi," the male replied in a bored fashion.

"So, Mr. Hatake," she continued almost as though she hadn't heard. "You're not allergic to any medication?"

"No," He replied, eyeing her in what appeared to be amusement or a hint of annoyance. She set her clipboard down and took over her glasses rubbing her eyes.

"Sorry. I need you to uncover your face," She replied opening her eyes and looking very serious. "It'll be very difficult to treat you if I can't…" She paused and watched as he pulled his mask grabbing at a tissue that had been under it probably to protect his mask from his sneezing. He blew and wiped his nose before removing the tissue and tossing it into the waste basket on the other side of the room.

"This better?" he asked. She looked from him to the waste basket and back before shaking her head and washing her hands. She put on a glove and with the ungloved hand she handed him the clipboard.

"Can you fill this out to the best of your ability while I prepare some things?"

"I…guess," he replied seeming slightly annoyed. He smiled to her back as she retrieved some supplies from the drawers and set them out on and under a sanitary cloth. She walked over to a piece of equipment and poked the end of one of the detachments into a hole and pulled a plastic piece out over it.

"Ah," she said simply. He opened his mouth and she stuck the plastic part into his mouth which he closed his mouth around. She waited until it beeped and took it out discarding the plastic part. She took off another detachment placing this around his arm setting it on auto before grabbing another detachment putting this one in another holder and pulled it out with a different shaped plastic piece the previous one. She pulled one of the many wooden utensils from its separate package. "Ah?" she asked. He opened his mouth again. This time she used the wooden utensil to gently push his tongue down while she used the other to peer within. She discarded the wooden piece and plastic piece quickly getting a new one before looking into his ear. "When did you first notice discomfort, Mr. Hatake?" She asked.

"Last night, I was coughing all night," He replied. "Will I have to stay overnight?" The question threw Miana off so much that she stopped what she was doing long enough to look at the deviousness in his expression. She shook her head and moved on to the next ear and peered within.

"No," She replied. Finally she was finished with the inspection and tossed the plastic piece before taking the clipboard and jotting some things down.

"Can I…stay overnight?" he asked tentatively. The writing stopped as she looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Just in case?"

"We'll see," she replied rolling her eyes before walking out of the room and closing the door. Kakashi stared at the door, unsure of what to do now. He sighed and supposed he should wait a bit more to see if that stay could be arranged. The door opened and a male walked in dressed in a nurse's outfit. Renji, the nurse, glowered at the Kakashi, unsure of what to make of him.

"You know hitting on doctors usually gets you booted _out_ of the hospital…" Renji said as he tossed a warm blanket over Kakashi. "Anything else you want?" Kakashi sneezed suddenly.

"Some soup and tissue?" the white haired male asked. "Oh and what was your name again?"

"I'll see what I can do… my name is Abarai Renji," Renji exited the same way he had entered, leaving Kakashi alone once more. He looked around a bit until he spotted some buttons. He allowed a curious look before reaching towards one. He pressed it and at first, nothing happened. Then all of a sudden the bed started sitting him up and didn't seem to have any intention of stopping. Quickly, he pushed a red button. Again nothing happened. Then, the bed stopped suddenly and Miana rushed in.

"Is something wrong?" She asked giving a worried look.

"Sorry, um what do these buttons do?" he asked. She walked forward rolling her eyes yet smiling as she did so. She pointed to each as she spoke of them.

"This red one signals a nurse or doctor to come and tend to you. The yellow one here sits this up, as you may have found out, depending on how long you hold it down. The green one lays it back, again, depending on how long you hold it will determine how far back. Sometimes it's a little slow, especially in cold weather. This black one is for emergency only. It should only be used if you are having a stroke or some other event that requires immediate attention. These two blue buttons control the channels on the TV and these two grey buttons control the volume. Will that be all Mr. Hatake?" she asked. He blushed a bit, but nodded. As she started walking away he remembered something.

"Oh Mrs.…"

"Dr. Nissai," she replied.

"Doctor, could you hand me my book over there on that chair?" he pointed to a chair over by the door. She turned and picked it up reading the title and blushing unnoticeably. She handed it to him and quickly taking her leave. She nearly slammed the door in her haste. Miana shook away the temptation to stay, just in case, and firmly stated _no_ before walking away.

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_In the room_

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Kakashi couldn't stop grinning after seeing her reaction. Perhaps she would stay and listen. Then he wondered what other pervert would join her should she decide to. A chill of embarrassment ran the length of his spine, freezing every inch of him. He began reading anyway, smiling deviously and blushing. The door opened quietly and soon after a hand snatched the book away. The person that snatched it read a little.

"Uh…Renji…" Kakashi whispered. He blushed a bit as the other raised an eyebrow. He quickly moved the table without spilling a drop of the soup. He stopped and held Kakashi back with the free hand, while reading the book in the other. Renji stopped reading and smirked at the obviously disgruntled Kakashi.

"I'll have to borrow this sometime," Renji replied, handing the book to the still angry ninja. Ignoring the glare, Renji wheeled the soup back over to the other. "The best soup in the house. If I'm lying, you can kill me later for it." The nurse was about to exit the room when the other's voice called to him.

"Renji, if you want I have the first novel in my weapons pouch there," he whispered, pointing to where the pouch rested. The pouch leaned casually against the chair he had the current book on earlier. Renji walked over and opened it, pulling out the book Kakashi had spoken of. He smiled and was about to say something when Miana walked in.

"Good news, you can stay overnight," she said. Kakashi beamed at this.

"Will you be tending to me tonight?" he asked her. She held back her fit of giggles and pushed them down before replying.

"No, I'm going home. However, Renji has the rest of the night to dedicate to you as the hospital is a little 'over' handed," she replied. She chuckling at her own pun then turned towards Renji. "All of the other doctors and nurses have been informed that you are going to be tending only to Kakashi." The great fist of doom crashed down on the two males.

"That's…great," Renji replied, not too enthused by the notion of being Kakashi's slave. Already he could feel the tears pouring down his cheeks in denial that this was happening to him. Kakashi sat there in a daze listening but not really there.

"Great! Take care, boys," she replied, smiling with a devious glint in her eye. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She closed the door after offering a winking leaving the two alone. A dark cloud seemed to settle over Kakashi's head.

"It's going to be a long night…" Renji finally stated, unable to say much else.

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**End**

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	2. Trauma to the Head

_Disclaimer- the only Character in this fic that is truly mine is Miana. The rest belong to their respective owners._

Series of one-shot this has only just begun so it may not seem like a crossover at first but we'll see what I can do… Muahahahahahaha!!!! XD

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**#2**

**Trauma to the Head!**

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_Get you're mind outta the gutter… _Renji entered the room where a very pale male sat awaiting treatment. He apparently had been in a wreck of sorts and now appeared to have passed on but the slight slow breaths assured Renji that the other was still there. He sighed and moved closer checking the male's pulse. The male stirred and muttered something incoherent as a police officer walked in. "We found this next to the man the name must have spooked whoever was trying to rob him. Poor guy had blood pooling all around him, saw some burn marks too and a few piles of ash but other than that." The policeman's face furrowed in disdain before he continued, "He was mumbling something about a guy named Zack when we were bringing him in…" Renji opened up the wallet and looked at the ID within the picture matched perfectly so he read:

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**King Lucifer "The Fallen"**

**666 Daemon Blvd.**

**Demon City, Hell 18666**

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_Date of Birth:_ 12/26/4,599,998,354 BC

_Sex:_ M

_Height:_ 808

_Eyes:_ BK

_Weight:_ 229

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Renji allowed a sidelong glance wondering how the man could weigh so little for his appearance but shook the thought away and stepped close. "Are you conscious Mr. Fallen?" The covered eye slit open slightly not revealing what lay behind the thick lashes.

"Just call me Lucifer," the voice whispered looking away his eye opening slight to reveal the entirely ebon eye except for a wispy white ring around where the iris should have been. He attempted to sit up but Renji stopped him then showed him a Kind of remote that controlled the bed.

"I prefer that you try to sleep but if you'd like to sit up press this button," Renji said, glowering at the apparent stubborn patient who glared back.

"I know how it works! I've only been watching others do this my whole life, ok?" he growled, taking the remote. Without even looking, he pressed the button and the back of the bed began to sit him up. He realized then just how sore he was from his last encounter. Apparently those rats had tagged him in more then one place. Shrugging off the pain, he offered an unnerving half-smile to the nurse. "It's a shame. I'll probably be stuck here until tonight if you have to tend me all day." Renji offered a disgusted look before walking towards the counter. When he turned around with clipboard in hand Lucifer towered over him, his wings tucked close and his one uncovered eye peering at him.

"Y-y-y-you shouldn't be up, y-y-you need r-r-rest…" the nurse stammered holding the clipboard up like a shield.

"Really? I was under the impression that I was well enough to walk around a bit, I'm not one that likes to sit around and do nothing you know." The nurse gathered his courage and glared ushering Lucifer back to the bed. He knew that the male was not well he was still bleeding from several wounds and had some trauma to his head. Lucifer watched in interest as the obviously intimidated male regained his senses, and showed his amusement with a laugh. His head was spinning but it was well worth the effort to throw the nurse off. Gladly, he allowed the nurse to guide him back to the bed and help him to lie back down. Miana walked in then and gave a questioning look before pulling out a pen.

"Seems our John Doe woke up," she said, jotting some things down.

"My name…is Lucifer, I'd prefer you call me that," he said giving her that same wry grin that he had given Renji earlier.

"Mr. Lucifer," she said, jotting something down.

"No mister, just Lucifer," he replied. She looked over the clipboard at him her face extremely serious. His smile almost faltered but his pride kept it in place almost like a challenge to the woman.

"I see, where do you hail from, Lucifer?" she asked walking over to a plain lighted walk, offering a benign smile when she half-turned to peer at him. She placed a few slides up and looked them over. Noting the few irregularities, she saw a possible fracture and some other obvious signs of damage to his skull.

"Demon city,"

"Really? Don't think I've ever been there," she replied. "Maybe, I'll visit sometime."

"I don't take you for the type that would end up in such a gruesome place," he offered, obviously baiting.

"Maybe, how's the weather there?"

"Hot and dry." He was amused by the string of questions she offered for conversation.

"So where is this Demon City?" she asked, pulling the sheets down.

"Hell," he replied, simply.

"I see, so what brought you to Japan?" she asked, unfazed by the declaration. He was a little miffed at her apparent naivety enough so that he almost forgot what she had asked.

"I'm looking for someone, Zack," he replied.

"So you came all the way up here for one person? I figured you'd be trying to take over the world, hmm. I suppose that's who the police decided you had been mumbling about on your way in. So what does this Zack look like?" she asked. "I know a few so…" Lucifer almost laughed at this, but contained his mirth and obvious amusement.

"So first and foremost tell me about my injuries," he replied.

"Well, you have a fracture and possible concussion which may cause some trouble, it looks a little to small to be that serious so I would assume that you can leave tomorrow night if you're lucky. They may try to keep you for at least three days if you're unlucky." She looked at him in all seriousness allowing him to take it all in and nod in acceptance. "So what of my question?"

"He may look much different from when I first created him. It wasn't my choice that he came to earth," he replied. "He has blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He stands about 5' 4" very small frame. He has the ability to always make someone smile and loves to annoy everyone at least once. You prolly don't know him."

"Sounds a lot like me, only kinda different, I tend to amuse people but hate annoying them, odd hmm? Ahh well, so what happened? How did he get on earth?" she asked.

He bit his lip and chewed on it a little before finally giving his careful answer. "Jesus, saw us in the middle of something and it apparently made him snap. I left heaven after that and founded a new home."

"Wow, so the bible does lie. That is amazing…I stopped believe that either of you existed when I was about ten or twelve then again at fifteen," she said, suddenly.

"Really?" he asked. "Why?"

"The constant silence, I hate silence and I hate being given the silent treatment. Apparently according to all those Christians say 'god is everywhere'. I say 'bullshit' but that's just me…" she smiled at this and tilted her head.

"Any other questions?" he asked, definitely more amused then anything.

"Yea too many, unfortunately but here's my current: Have you had any luck yet?" she asked.

"Yea, a few times I've felt really close but no luck actually finding him," he replied, sighing lightly.

"You're lucky you know, if you've gotten close I mean. At least you know he can't be too far from you, perhaps he's not as far as you would think. Keep looking, I'm sure you'll find him," she said rising suddenly. "I'll keep this incident off the record don't want anyone to know the devil got a little boo-boo, may make the Mental hospital happy but, eh."

"Thanks," he replied, shaking his head which sent it spinning once more.

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**End**

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	3. My Mother

_Disclaimer- the only Character in this fic that is truly mine is Miana. The rest belong to their respective owners._

A series of one-shot stories, involving various characters from anime and games. Please no _flames_ I tend to burn things around the Barracks and I hear that's not safe!! ;o

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**#3**

**My Mother…**

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Yelling and lots of it came from a small room at the end of the east wing of the third floor. Reno rushed down the hall his security badge gleaming in the early sun that glinted in from the far window. He opened the door pulling his 9mm from its holster and rushed in gun first. The weapon flew up and a round ricocheted into the ceiling as a fist collided with his ribs. Stars blinked in his eyes for a few seconds as he recollected himself and chased after the patient.

"Don't hurt…" Miana yelled down the hall. Reno tackled the patient to the ground. "…him." She sighed and walked down to where the patient now laid, his head prolly rushing as the adrenalin wore off slightly. Shan walked over and helped Renji lift the patient from the ground while Miana tended to the guards non-apparent injuries.

"Where is mother!?" The male voice yelled from down the hall.

"Don't tell me…is that?"

"Yes, Mr. Angel had a little accident down on 4th Webber St. out in front of the county hospital for the mentally challenged." She replied. "They said they would like to do an analysis to see if he needs to be submitted to their hospital for treatment."

"Oh believe me he does need to be submitted!" Reno replied, slightly breathless. Miana raises a brow but doesn't inquire on instead she reprimands him by mentioning the patient's good qualities. Reno sighed as he listened.

"Mr. Angel isn't the type to pose that type of threat Mr. Reno. He's suffered some trauma from his mother's recent coma. He has a bit of amnesia and is actually quite a looker…" Miana huffed.

"Wha~ wait what did you just say?"

"That he has good looks…" Miana replied.

"No, before that," Reno asked, looking dumbfounded.

"That he has Amnesia…"

"Maybe you're right, I'll go in and check on him for ya and see if I can't help calm him down," Reno said, giving Miana a pat on the arm before rushing off towards where the patient was dragged off to.

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_Moments Later in the Room_

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Sephiroth stares at Reno, puzzled as though trying to place him in a time and place in his past. Reno stares back into that intense stare, secretly hoping that Sephiroth didn't remember and go on a killing spree. The intense gaze had made many of those who had entered leave sputtering out apologies. Even Renji had entered and left in a hurry. Reno gulped feeling uneasy with the silence but couldn't find the words to break it. He almost laughed as he thought it over. _'Hey Sephiroth remember all the times you tried to kill me?' Yea, that's riiiich,_ he thought to himself. Finally Sephiroth spoke throwing Reno for a loop.

"Did I love you?" The question was so sudden that Reno couldn't respond. He felt numb from shock. Sephiroth repeated the question thinking maybe Reno hadn't heard.

"Huh? Me? I-I-I don't k-know," Reno sputtered, still shocked. "Did you?"

"I don't know…I feel as though I _should_ know, though." Sephiroth looked up confused. "Were you a friend of my mothers?"

"I didn't really know your mother," Reno replied, feeling really stupid after he did as Sephiroth beckoned him closer. The intense gaze had returned making him uneasy as he moved beside the strange white haired male. Sephiroth beckoned once more only this time towards the chair. Reno complied pulling the chair close and taking a seat.

"Did we do anything?" Reno was quite alarmed by the meaning behind those words almost as if it were hidden and unknown.

"I don't think so," Reno replied, uneasy with the turn of conversation.

"Did you want to?" the male asked, a look of longing in his eyes much different and far apart from the gaze of death that had once gleamed so prominently in his eyes. The look froze Reno in place, his limbs wouldn't move, his body and mind frozen. Sephiroth leaned in closer. "Did you…" closer "…Want to…?" The question was left unanswered as his lips connected with Reno's. A moan escaped and to Reno's horror it was he who allowed it. One swift movement later and Reno lay pinned to bed with Sephiroth above him.

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_Ten Minutes Later_

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Miana enters the room seemingly unfazed by the action before. "Mr. Angel"

"Yes?" Sephiroth asked, continuing to thrust. Reno's shock quickly wore off as the assault to his senses continued unfazed.

"You're mother's going to be just fine, she just woke up and spoke with us. All that we could find were a couple of scratches and a little bump. Oh also, try not to strain yourself to much. You should all be able to go home tomorrow afternoon."

"Ok thanks," Sephiroth replied, nonchalantly.

"And Reno… play nice with Sephiroth and try not to further injure him," Miana said as se left. Reno was too wrapped up in shock and the nearness of the ecstasy to reply so instead he gave her an incredulous look.

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**End**

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